Gosh, well what has happened in the last couple of weeks. Muchos. I'm going to try and start hace dos semanas but more than likely it will degenerate into inconguous garble.
Fi, Alex and I decided we needed an escape from the Latiness that is Puerto Colombia and perhaps meet some people from other countries. For many things being the only white person /girl in Puerto does have its advantages- I can now climb for free at the local University, having been filmed for their promotional video as the first white person to climb their wall (incidentally Fiona and I reached the top, whereas the lovely Colombian baseball playing jocks didn't. Girl power) and today in my hideous capoeira class- more later- Fi and I were shot for another promotional video, this time for the local gym, lovingly titled "Gym School Power". Sadly being an English girl in Puerto does have its disadvantages, mainly from the machismo men here who think I will turn aound and flirt if the hiss at me and then tell me I am the most beautiful girl in the continent. A few weeks ago a policeman on a moped cornered me, took off his helmet and then asked if I was an angel fallen from heaven. I just laughed in his face I was so shocked. Now this all sounds very complimentary and nice, but imagine it every single day, from the minute you leave the house to the moment you enter school, where even the doormen tell you they are in love with you. And after that you get to face the porn obsessed 15 year olds who keep asking what "suck my pussy" means in Spanish.
Anyway we escaped to Cartagena, described as the 'architectural gem of the continent' and it is beautiful. Beautiful. Sadly we got there to discover that for elections there is a nationwide ban on drinking for the whole weekend. It's illegal to sell and illegal to buy. We feigned ignorance and cadged some from a local store through the bars and smuggled it to our hosel in brown paper bags. Standard.
Met some lovely Americans and a Swede (ha!) and visited the Volcan de Totumu, which basically looks like a giant ants hill and instead of spewing lava it spews mud, which the Colombians in their infinite wisdom think is great for the skin. It probably was once. You climb to the top of this volcano and slowly lower yourself into this mud which is 2300m deep. The texture is something I could never even have imagined but I will try to describe it. As you lower yourself in you feel this crazy pressure against your body. its too dense to swim in but feels loke slightly whipped double cream, it looked a tiny bit like melted chocolate. I was dreaming this. We thought it'd be a genius idea to skinny dip in this mud as you can force yourself low enough to cover your boobs, although the more boyant ladies had a wee bit of trouble which the locals enjoyed. I proceeded to remove my bikini bottoms as you do and then had horrible thoughts about whether this mud incubated horrible diseases and about whether I could catch an STD from a volcano. I tried to put my bottoms back on. Probably 100 times worse than leaving them on as wehn I exited I had to squeeze about 2 punds worth of mud out from between my bum and shorts. Nice.
Amazing day. Even better wash in the lake afterwards. The next day we all went to Playa Blanca, a beautiful beautiful beach and the first evidence of Colombia actually being on the Carribbean coast. We did all the cliched things, slept in hammocks overnight, drank rum, invented stories about a lesbian hunchback revolution, went skinny dipping in the dark and swished out hands in the water to see the luminescent bugs, got bitten by mosquitos, played the guitar and sang as well as we played (not very) ate fresh fish, ate more rice, discoved there were no toilets on the island, drank pina coladas from coconuts, climbed trees, read, played frisbee in the sea. It was awesome. Awesome. Returned to Puerto ready to face a fresh barrage of compliments.
Fi, Alex and I decided we needed an escape from the Latiness that is Puerto Colombia and perhaps meet some people from other countries. For many things being the only white person /girl in Puerto does have its advantages- I can now climb for free at the local University, having been filmed for their promotional video as the first white person to climb their wall (incidentally Fiona and I reached the top, whereas the lovely Colombian baseball playing jocks didn't. Girl power) and today in my hideous capoeira class- more later- Fi and I were shot for another promotional video, this time for the local gym, lovingly titled "Gym School Power". Sadly being an English girl in Puerto does have its disadvantages, mainly from the machismo men here who think I will turn aound and flirt if the hiss at me and then tell me I am the most beautiful girl in the continent. A few weeks ago a policeman on a moped cornered me, took off his helmet and then asked if I was an angel fallen from heaven. I just laughed in his face I was so shocked. Now this all sounds very complimentary and nice, but imagine it every single day, from the minute you leave the house to the moment you enter school, where even the doormen tell you they are in love with you. And after that you get to face the porn obsessed 15 year olds who keep asking what "suck my pussy" means in Spanish.
Anyway we escaped to Cartagena, described as the 'architectural gem of the continent' and it is beautiful. Beautiful. Sadly we got there to discover that for elections there is a nationwide ban on drinking for the whole weekend. It's illegal to sell and illegal to buy. We feigned ignorance and cadged some from a local store through the bars and smuggled it to our hosel in brown paper bags. Standard.
Met some lovely Americans and a Swede (ha!) and visited the Volcan de Totumu, which basically looks like a giant ants hill and instead of spewing lava it spews mud, which the Colombians in their infinite wisdom think is great for the skin. It probably was once. You climb to the top of this volcano and slowly lower yourself into this mud which is 2300m deep. The texture is something I could never even have imagined but I will try to describe it. As you lower yourself in you feel this crazy pressure against your body. its too dense to swim in but feels loke slightly whipped double cream, it looked a tiny bit like melted chocolate. I was dreaming this. We thought it'd be a genius idea to skinny dip in this mud as you can force yourself low enough to cover your boobs, although the more boyant ladies had a wee bit of trouble which the locals enjoyed. I proceeded to remove my bikini bottoms as you do and then had horrible thoughts about whether this mud incubated horrible diseases and about whether I could catch an STD from a volcano. I tried to put my bottoms back on. Probably 100 times worse than leaving them on as wehn I exited I had to squeeze about 2 punds worth of mud out from between my bum and shorts. Nice.
Amazing day. Even better wash in the lake afterwards. The next day we all went to Playa Blanca, a beautiful beautiful beach and the first evidence of Colombia actually being on the Carribbean coast. We did all the cliched things, slept in hammocks overnight, drank rum, invented stories about a lesbian hunchback revolution, went skinny dipping in the dark and swished out hands in the water to see the luminescent bugs, got bitten by mosquitos, played the guitar and sang as well as we played (not very) ate fresh fish, ate more rice, discoved there were no toilets on the island, drank pina coladas from coconuts, climbed trees, read, played frisbee in the sea. It was awesome. Awesome. Returned to Puerto ready to face a fresh barrage of compliments.
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